I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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