How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
