If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
