Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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