My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
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my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
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He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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