Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I still have a little drunk in my system
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
