I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
