I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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