mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
