I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
