the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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