i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
