I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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