im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
