...so i touched it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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