I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize