I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
