Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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