I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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