Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Your penis caused this!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
