My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
