i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
