brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
