we're blogging at a bar
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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