i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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