Do you still have your period?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
