I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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