I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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