If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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