I think I just saw someone hide a body.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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