There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
