just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
