Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
