I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize