good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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