I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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