Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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