Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
