can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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