Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize