just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I don't deserve a penis
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize