That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
