You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
