I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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