Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
