if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
