I just pynch a tree in the face
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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