My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
