i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?