I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
