just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
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