I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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