Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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