i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
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I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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