school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
