wrigley field is MILF paradise
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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